You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
