we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
