umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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