Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
