adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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