I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
