Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
