she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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