I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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