I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize