So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
