So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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