I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?