He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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