Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
