she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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