Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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