dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My balls are so social today.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
