he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
