i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
