Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
