I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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