Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was born a porn star she said
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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