He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Im part way to drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
