Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
