Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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