the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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