What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
