Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
