TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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