is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
