It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
