I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
