nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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