Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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