no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
