Don't make out with my wife yet
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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