I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
