what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize