Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love having hate sex.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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