brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
