When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
