Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
