So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
