One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
