I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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