Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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