you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
