I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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