Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
