I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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