I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have post one night stand depression
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