my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
