I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
