As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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