TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
