Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
