jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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