"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
