I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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