Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
