is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
