i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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