What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
