So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is Oprah even human
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
