Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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