Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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