i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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